Big Brother has an Amstel Light with Senator Barack Obama

Besides having to prove which candidate is smarter or has better policy positions, modern presidential campaigns have to present their guy or gal as approachable, down-to-earth, a drinking buddy with a finger on the button. Though George W. Bush gave up drinking after several DWI arrests he was still perceived as the better man to have a beer with, and won out over the elitist and stiff Al Gore and John Kerry. Big Brother had given generously to both McCain’s and Obama’s primary campaigns and was able to share beer and sympathy with both men separately earlier this year. Previously, Big Brother recounted his late night/early morning with Senator John McCain. Here the Internet Dictator reports a casual meeting with Senator Barack Obama:

Barack Obama has spent ample time in New York City raising money from the East Coast Liberal Elites. One evening this spring Big Brother ran into Senator Obama at the Harvard Club in midtown. Having met before at a madrasah in Pakistan, he immediately recognized Big Brother.

“Big Brother, how’re you? It’s so good to see you here,” the Senator greeted warmly.

“Senator, good show in the primaries,” replied Big Brother, “you’re going to raise my taxes aren’t you?”

“Well, Big Brother, that depends. Does your household make over $200,000 in taxable income?”

“You know I do, and I earn every penny,” said Big Brother.

“That’s great for you, and a great testament to the American economy,” Senator Obama shifted into glad-handing mode, “you have been very successful, but not every American has had access to the same resources you had. We will all gain if the very rich share the wealth. If we spread it around to those who need it, and can use it, society will be stronger, our economy will be stronger.”

“Share the wealth?” queries Big Brother, “What are you? Some kind of commie?”

“No, No, I assure you, the U.S. tax code has always been progressive; there has always been a wealth redistributive component to it.”

“Are you wearing pink underwear? I would lose that phrase: ‘share the wealth,’ the Republicans will say you’re the reincarnation of Karl Marx. You won’t just be ‘Swift Boated,’ you’ll be run over with an aircraft carrier.”

“What I am proposing only brings our tax rates back to where they were under Ronald Reagan, and I don’t think anyone would have the temerity to call President Reagan a communist.”

“The U.S.S. Ronald Reagan is what they’ll hit you with if you insist on saying that Americans should ‘share the wealth.’ Didn’t you go to Harvard? I thought you were smart.”

“They can call me what they want, but all these social programs have to be paid for by someone. George W. Bush (who went to Harvard by the way) passed a Medicare prescription plan that was the biggest increase in government spending in 50 years, and his tax cut for the top two percent of earners drastically decreased tax revenues. Now look, we know that that just cannot work. Maybe in the short term, but not longer term”

“There you go again.” rejoined Big Brother.

The Senator exhaled a baritone laugh at the reference to the Carter/Reagan debate. However, this attracted the attention of others in the room. We were soon interrupted by a young woman who wanted to meet the Senator. She was quite effusive. You can imagine it was how starlets and stewardesses used to respond to Kennedy.

Why have there not been any rumors about Senator Obama chasing after woman? They certainly chase after him. Is the press so in love with him that they refuse to divulge any possible transgressions, or is he that clean? Big Brother has doubts that Fox News or any of his political opponents would have had any scruples if even the slightest rumor of infidelity were to have popped up. Maybe that is the “otherness” that Hillary Clinton’s and John McCain’s campaigns have tried to brand Senator Obama with. Maybe the man is from Mars. Twenty million women in love with him, and he only sees them as enthusiastic voters.

Senator Obama is quite charming; you just have to get him to stop talking shop. He is always talking shop. You might get him to talk briefly about shooting hoops, or the White Sox. He is quite thrilled with discussing his daughters and wife, but he always reverts to his policy points and really wants you to understand his point of view. He is all business all the time and a bit of a bore. You have to think that he has been running for president too long, not just the last two years, but since law school.

That is all,

Big Brother

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